September 23rd 1998 : I was denied visitation this evening. By court order I am to get to spend every Wednesday night with my daughter for dinner. I received a call 2 hours after the drop off time from the mother telling me she forgot until my daughter reminded her. She seemed amused about the whole situation, and laughed while saying she was sorry.
September 30th 1998 : I had a lovely dinner with my daughter unlike last week. During the conversation I was informed that my wife was pregnant with another child by her new live in boyfriend, Rob Wessinger. I wonder if this one has a father listed, or if the system will allow her file again father unknown. And you can bet folks that the system will pay for this one too. To add insult to injury on the system, Rob is currently married to someone else.
November 2: We went to court today. Another continuance was issued but home studies were requested and a Guardian ad litem was requested as well. We can hope Social Services will actually find the truth in their digging this time. All of the people currently living in the mothers house show to court, Rob Wessinger (live-in boyfriend), Rudy Coles and his girlfriend, Nancy. The couple sleeps on the floor in the main room from what little one says.
November 6th, 1998: My daughter arrived for our weekend visitation. She was wearing clothing I was uneasy in taking her out in public in so I asked her to change. When she did she removed her shoes which we so overpowering with odor others in the room made note. The socks in the shoes were so soiled they were ridged. Not believing I'd get the shoes clean I bought new ones that night. The shoes I replaced I had bought three months ago and had almost no wear. It seems that mother's phone has been shut off as well as the cable tv. So much for my daughter getting to call me between visits.
November 18th, 1998: My daughter was dropped off by somebody else. It seems that her mother lost her car due to missed payments.
December 2nd 1998: My little one arrived on time for once for our Wed. evening date. She had been home from school for two days due to being sick. She is also complaining about her teeth again. She was filthy and still in dirty clothes. I was informed that neither her mother or the live in boyfriend had jobs now. My daughter also told me she had heard discussions of the water and electric were to be turned off. Being I am unable to file complaints that would be taken to heart, I tried to instill in her that she needed to tell her teachers and school what was happening at her home with her mother and to inform them if the water or power gets shut off. Also the mother has told little one that she is physically unable to do any labor including picking up her other child and that her doctor said "she was to only sit on the couch and watch tv". If this was true, it would mean she is unfit to take care of two children by herself, you might think.
August 7, 1999: Way too much has happened since the December entry so I will try and sum things up.
We have been to court two times since December. The first time was continued because my daughters mother, my still wife, was in the hospital having her third child by the third father. And you can bet Social Services paid the bill on this one too. Oh as far as the second child, custody has been given to her father in one court session in Dinwiddie, ours in Chesterfield County. BUT now we will be going to a higher court so I may finally speak. A note too; the show cause where the mother kept Kari away from me for 7 consecutive months on this last appearance was dismissed.
Well this may surprise a few but Kari's mother dodged both Social Services home study as well as the guardian ad litem. Now keep in mind, that is refusing a court order, yet it wasn't mentioned. By the time of the first court date, I had taken Kari twice to the guardian and met with the home study worker twice, once in office, once in home. The home study report was what we expected, it stated that I provided a good environment for Kari and would support the courts decision in a change of custody. Also keep in mind she never got to meet with the mother ( due to the fact she didn't have a good address provided by the courts, hmmm. She also moved three times during the home study period). The guardian met with the mother literally a few days before the final court date. The final statement from the guardian to the court was she couldn't tell by information she got from Kari as it seemed she told two stories. Rob was arrested at court for outstanding warrants. These weren't in the guardians report, and yes Rob is still married to his wife too. One of the warrants was said to be assault filed by my daughter's mother one time when they split up, when he went back to his wife again, and another for driving on a suspended license.
The current news from my daughter is that Rob, daddy number three, her mother, child number three, herself and child number two when mother gets visitation have move into an apartment. One month after being there, they have no gas which equals no hot water, and now no phone again either. The summer schedule reverted back to last years in someone's infinite wisdom, where the dates don't match up for weeks and weekends and being my lawyer has my copy of the that order I don't know when I am suppose to see my daughter again.
October 10th, 1999. New news. Summer is over and the court order was finally released, and of course appealed. Our new date is for November 15th, 1999. This will be a date to get a full trial date but at least it is in a real court with a real judge. Additional news on the mother; She has moved again, matter of fact less than a month after the last court date. Also the latest boyfreind and father number three, Rob, the man she was engaged to, has left her for his wife, again. And last but not least, to show stability, she has had and left two jobs, now on her third, since we were in court last. I wonder if Social Services ever did get to complete or even begin her side of the home study, but for that they would need to have her current address. My daughter is still going to the same school, thank goodness, but is registered to great grandmas house and living in grampas house, in another district. My daughter's schedule is too much to put here, but she bounces back and forth, house to house at all hours at mother's convenience. And a note, I live in the same school district so she could be here without any bouncing.
March 31st : We went to court again, Chesterfield County Circuit Court . Even after the mother testified that her father use to play sexual games with her when she was 15 or so, "sip and strip?" when he WAS an alcoholic, (but lets my daughter live there, and often under his care) , that she lived in 6 places in the last two years, and has had multiple jobs, that the mother has taken intentional actions to prevent me from being involved or interacting with my daughter by writing the school telling them not to give me any information on my daughter, was proved to have perjured herself, I still didn't gain custody. Short and sweet, the fight for the best interest of my child continues. Keep in mind Social Services and the courts hold the records where the mothers testimony caused enough concern to emancipate her from this same home! We have to say that we thought with the evidence presented by most normal, non-partisan persons, that means not mommy bias , Kari would have been in a happier, safer, better cared for environment tonight. I guess I have to get out of Chesterfield County to get a reasonable trial, like the one that gave one of the other mother's children to her father for lesser reasons. I question with the presented facts whether the good ole boys network runs deep. No change of circumstance, right! Oh, and of the issues regarding my inability to obtain records and other items denied were heard by this court but the court didn't raise one finger to promote the law to even allow me to have them or correct the situation. Again, laws for the books but no one to enforce them. Today we have learned again that it pays to lie, steal, and cheat when it comes to the Chesterfield County courts and Social Services. I knew I did something wrong by doing the right thing. And in Chesterfield I am going to pay, again and again. And for all of you that know about the mother's mate swapping activity pictures presented to the courts, I will not post them to the page. I can't stand to look at them, why make you. And as the depositions say, "it only happened once really". I pray my child is not the first to be horribly injured or worse, and have the system except..but it only happened once! In addition, for those that care, my daughter was taken out of school early today after court, around 12:00 noon. Another promotion of education by mom no doubt. Maybe they are going to have a family moment and teach her "sip and strip".
You know I had last night to think about this, the file on my daughter is four inches thick. These documents are kept for a reason right? Yet proven are not reviewed. Only what has happened just yesterday is, if that is the case why keep the file? I was under the impression that a judge and guardian reviewed the entire case to form an opinion, otherwise what is it there for. This is from the same fantasy I had about justice.
At the end of the trial a speech was given to myself and the mother. It was stated we were selfish, yet in the same breath the judge mentioned that he knew nothing about us, as "we were strangers coming to him to make our family decisions". Being the trial was limited to one hour, I can see how he was unable to form an opinion. If he had read the file it is noted that we haven't been a family, by the mother's choice, since 1991. If this was divorce court that would work, this is about a little girl, as he said, not about us.
It was attempted in court to be said that I am taking pop shots at the system with this page. Note, almost all statements in this page are backed up by records provided by and possessed by this system. Using the same rule book, the laws and Codes of Virginia, and the Canons of Judicial Conduct, I qualify these remarks as truth by their definitions.
I have made myself a public target, throughout the existence of these pages, for the purpose of bettering my daughter's life and future, where I may find myself attacked by the system, like already. If you wish to incarcerate me and keep me from my child more, this would only be a repeat of what has happened. A many good men and women have been jailed to be silenced. If it will serve the better good, in my daughters life, and in other families to not go through this, I will carry the wrongful ill dissevered punishments and accusations you may place upon me. I have made arrangements to insure the story will not end by such actions, where other parties will be able to update this page and the sites that will soon mirror (duplicate) it's postings. We together can and will effect positive change. And it is time.
November 13th, 2000
Today we went before the Circuit Court again. Many questions were posed in the submitted brief. One concerned if an illegal name may be used to apply for child support or custody or other legal documentation. Come to find out, according to the judgel the answer is and I quote "yes". No other commentary was given on that question. He failed to accept my concerns that the current court orders were of fraudulent origin and data. It was also asked of other court procedure that was in question. Again an unexpected answer was, each judge may do as they please, and despite that judges are suppose to police each other, he said that some previous acts by the other judges "are not a standard practice of doing things but legal". The worst part of the proceeding was this was on a show cause filed in October 12th, 1999. According to the current court order filed September 25th, 2000, on a case he heard on March 31st (yeah it was "lost in the system for that many months by magic alone, huh?), page 2, part 4 states "All show causes filed by the parties are hereby dismissed". Even though this was the same judge's order, and this show cause was filed before the date of hearing, placing it in the time frame of "all show causes to be dismissed", he upheld the show cause against his own order. Again even in his court I see that court orders are only to benefit the mothers, never the children or fathers.
The mother has now moved three times since August 1st, 2000, and now resides in Petersburg after charges of neglect were filed by the mother's family (not me) in Chesterfield County. Social Services Chesterfield stated it was now out of their hands due to her move. The current home my child resides in has limited water service, and poor limited heating, with multiple families.
December 12th 2000!!!!!
Today was a day of reckoning. An emergency hearing was heard in the Chesterfield County J&DR court concerning the conditions my daughter has been subjected to by her mother for the last five months. It was quickly testified to that a home with questionable utilities (lack of proper water, heat, etc.) was no place for children. The mother moved to Petersburg from Chesterfield. In the process she lived in two homes on the same street that did not or don't posses the basic requirements to sustain a healthy living environment.
The guardian presented the case from evidence solely and diligently collected in addition to my daughter's testimony to her. The guardian responsibly appeared to take great efforts in bringing the facts to light as time allowed to give my daughter hope and a safer place to live.
The outcome of this expedited hearing was fortuitous for my daughter and myself. The judge after thoughtful review and questions to both parties, and direct opinion of the guardian; My daughter is in my custody, "temporary custody", until the full custody hearing in January.
My daughter and I tearfully thank the guardian for her hard work in obtaining the important information that convinced that court to allow her to at least sleep in a warm bed and home, and where she was able to take a hot shower.
January 8th, 2001
The case was continued until April 25th. However before things were dismissed at that the judge decided that if the mother conformed to a few corrections of her household my daughter would be returned to the home in which she was removed for lack of living basics until the next court date four months away. My daughter was also denied the right to return to her Chesterfield County school which was even confirmed by the judge to be superior to the Petersburg school she was moved due to the mother's many recent moves. The judge stated "I wish I could order parents to live in the county but I can't". This showing that just on the education level my daughter residing here is in her best interest. The guardian failed to speak of my daughter's insistent wish to return to her original school and not to be returned to the mother's home. The decision of compliance by the mother that would return the child to the unstable environment rests in the hands of the guardian, as she is to inspect the home and surroundings. Upon such action, further information will appear here in full detail of what justice has or has not taken place.
All information above is upon information and belief, or an expressed opinion of the author.